Is routine such a good thing?

It wasn't until I poked my nose through Gina Ford's Contented Baby that I truly appreciated how much of a routine drill sergeant she really is. How on earth do you get your 4 month old (and by this stage very wilful and determined in my case) baby to sleep for 2 hours between the hours of 12 and 2 each day? What are you supposed to do when your baby is hungry at 2.15 pm but it's not feeding time until 3? No, Gina's routines were definitely not for me.

I laughed when any of my friends (especially the childless ones) asked me what time would be best to meet up to fit round Josh's routine. What routine?! We got up, Josh would eat, play, sleep and not necessarily in that order or indeed the same order during the days and every now and again I would manage to have a cold cup of tea. What more could a girl want?

Paradoxically for me (an avid spreadsheet queen and organisational control freak) I was happy just going with the flow and letting our days evolve around Josh and when he wanted to feed and nap. Unbeknownst to me, Josh had started his own nap routine but it wasn't until about 4 weeks ago that I realised. Since then I have been merrily putting him down to sleep at his self-designated times. To begin with I thought this was great - I had certainty each day and looked forward to hot-cup-of-tea-and-biscuit-time three times a day :-)

But I've been pondering lately whether having a routine is such a good thing. I seem to have gone from one extreme to another.

I've always followed the rule "never wake a sleeping baby" and for Josh it certainly makes him an even happier chap when he's had a lot of sleep but since realising when Josh likes to have his naps, I've gone a step further and started planning my day around them. I started having kittens if the plan for the day didn't work round his naps, scared that he would turn into some screaming monster in public who I wouldn't be able to quieten and he would never again sleep during the day. Ridiculous!

Whilst having a bit of a routine is nice (and somewhat unfortunately necessary I've found for the weaning process) I think it can be a dangerous thing too when you start clinging to it. It took a day out with one of my best friends (when Im ashamed to say I made her and her family plan their day around Josh's naps) to make me realise that there has to be a compromise when it comes to this mother-baby relationship. Babies need their sleep but we need our life too.